Jags army to jobbies
We have had so much to enjoy on the field again in Scottish football over the last 12 months. A resurgent Rangers, a record-breaking Celtic side clinching a Double Treble, a potential four-way title race involving Aberdeen and Kilmarnock, dramatic arrivals and departures – as well as plenty of thrills and spills from north to south to keep the punters on the edge of their seats. But there has also been plenty of funny and bizarre stories, the kind of crazy tales you just couldn’t make up. Here, we look at the top 10 weird and wonderful moments in 2018 from the Premiership and beyond. BY STUART HODGE IN A RIGHT FLAP Where’s the birds? Ahem, falling dead out the sky...
There’s been an alarming increase in avian nosedives taking centre stage at Scottish grounds.
At Forfar’s Station Park, Ian McCall walked away from the pitch after a dead seagull crashed five yards from his feet as he spoke to the press.
The Ayr manager said: “There’s a lot of them round about us and I’m not happy about this.”
And on Hampden’s hallowed turf, St Mirren keeper Craig Samson faced a similar incident ahead of a Betfred Cup penalty shootout against Queen’s Park when a dead pigeon plummeted into his goalmouth.
It proved to be a decent omen as the Buddies won 5-4 on penalties. GOALKEEPER INJURED BY RUNAWAY COW
But if you think that’s the most bizarre story involving animals this year then moooooooooove over and make way for Sam Henderson.
Queen of the South were in the midst of a keeper crisis after Henderson, 19, was hit by a runaway cow on his father’s farm and suffered a shoulder injury.
The youth starlet had been on the bench the previous week and soon dropped out the squad. That brings a whole new meaning to taking an agricultural approach to the game. FIRHILL GHOST GOAL, AGAIN
When Kris Doolan’s shot struck the underside of the bar before hitting the net and bouncing back out, every Partick Thistle player and fan celebrated. And the Morton players put their head in their hands as one kicked the ball into the stand in frustration. But referee Barry Cook and assistant Jordan Stokoe, to the bemusement of everyone at Firhill, awarded the Jags a throw-in.
It’s not the first time this has happened. In the same goal 25 years earlier, ref Les Mottram waved play on after Dundee United’s Paddy Connolly hit the back of the net before a Thistle defender picked the ball up and handed it to his keeper. WHAT GOES UP...
Dundee United keeper Deniz Mehmet indulged in some acrobatic celebrations after his side equalised in their play-off quarter-final against Dunfermline.
It’s all very well to enjoy the happy moments but the goalie suffered a knee injury in the process and had to be substituted. Despite that, boss Csaba Laszlo saw the funny side. He said: “If I write a book this will be the funniest thing in my life. A goalkeeper injuring his knee in a goal celebration. It was so stupid.”
It proved no laughing matter as Mehmet suffered cruciate ligament damage and hasn’t played since. LIAM FONTAINE – TV STAR Liam Fontaine is going to have Eilidh Barbour and Piers Morgan out of a job soon. The Ross County defender interviewed fashion guru Gok Wan on video after he finished a DJ set.
And perhaps feeling a passion developing the Englishman then carried on by interviewing his former Hibs boss Alan Stubbs while incorporating a cookery challenge entitled “Master Bakers.” He’s clearly thinking about life after football. Nothing half-baked about that. LEIGH GRIFFITHS MEETS FLAT-EARTH THEORISTS
Leigh Griffiths was singled out by a sceptic of the widely-accepted assumption (proved by, well, science) that the earth is round and the Celtic striker listened patiently to the flatearth advocate. After being stopped
in his car outside Parkhead, Griffiths faced questions such as: “Have you ever seen bendy water? If the earth is 71 per cent covered in water and we know the surface of water is horizontal, how can the earth be a baw?”
Sounds like a load of balls to us pal and Griffiths’s response was, understandably, a wee bit flat. IT WAS BOUNTY TO HAPPEN
Derby clashes can get feisty but St Mirren left-back Stelios Demetriou wasn’t flustered when struck by a chocolate bar thrown from Morton fans in a Renfrewshire derby at Cappielow. Rather than reacting, or handing it to the ref, the defender unwrapped the Bounty bar, took a bite and carried on with his throw-in.
I’m sure that particular sense of retribution tasted delicious. FOUL PLAY AT SPARTANS
The most recent entry on our list. And one Billy Connolly would be proud of. Lowland League Spartans fired themselves into the Scottish football social media hall of fame (that should be a real thing) with one of the best tweets from an official club account during their clash against Gretna at Ainslie Park. “A break in play as the referee asks that a jobby is shovelled off the pitch.” WILLO FLOOD’S SUMMER OF DISCONTENT
Willo Flood redefined the term journeyman midfielder this summer.
The Irishman’s Dundee United career ended with a meltdown as the ex-Celtic star ranted at a television camera after being sent off in a play-off defeat by Livingston.
Weeks later he signed for Dunfermline but lasted only a week at the Pars after the club let him go following a more lucrative offer from Bali United. But the 33-year-old’s Asian swansong was scuppered by league rules on foreign players. KIDNAPPED BY THE SAS
Gary Caldwell felt the team spirit need a bit of a boost when he took over Partick Thistle. And he decided it was time for drastic measures.
Some Jags players were left traumatised though after a stint at the British Army’s Parachute Regiment based at Garelochhead in Argyll and Bute. It even took four SAS soldiers to “recapture” Belgian midfielder Brice Ntambwe after he ran away and Jack Storer was in tears.
If I write a book this will be the funniest thing in my life, that the goalie injured himself in a goal celebration. It was stupid CSABA LASZLO