Monkeybusiness by beaks at the top is real issue

BACK in the 70s a group of boffins went ape at Harvard University and discovered something interesting about the human chimp.

They conducted this experiment where they got a bunch of folk to watch a basketball match and they were tasked with counting the number of passes.

Sounded simple, and sure enough, most of them managed to do their sums correctly.

But what half of the subjects missed was the sight of a dude in a big gorilla costume walking on to the middle of the basketball court, giving a wee wave, then casually strolling off again.

More than 50 per cent of them missed it. Not a scooby. It was as if the gorilla was invisible.

The geeks worked out people only see what they want to see.

It’s the same with football folk, whether it’s fans, players or most of all managers. If you are looking for something then you ignore everything else, even if it’s six feet tall and wearing a gorilla costume.

That’s why managers always think their side should have had that penalty, shouldn’t have conceded that spot-kick or how they look at an offside decision and see a zig zag instead of a straight line.

It also explains why they all think everyone is out to get them. They are entitled to say it if that’s what they think.

The problems come when authorities start messing with outcomes.

Craig Levein will be thinking the world is against him this week after copping a ban for taking a pop at Bobby Madden and you can have sympathy for him.

Compare and contrast these incidents.

Exhibit A: “It seems like the world is against us today. But we’ll make sure we get better for that.”

Exhibit B: “When you’re playing against 12 men it’s very difficult.”

Exhibit C: “Small clubs like X may be fair game. The decision lacked a calm and rational approach from such an experienced official.”

Exhibit D: “We were playing against 12 men That’s how I feel.”

They are all pretty similar, right?

But the issue is not all four comments were hit with the same punishment.

The first was Steven Gerrard, who let rip on the opening day of the season at Pittodrie. The Rangers boss wasn’t given as much as a slap on the wrists. Yet a few weeks later Steve Clarke (Exhibit C) got clobbered

Problems come when authorities start messing about with outcomes

with a ban for his outburst. Neil Lennon complained about playing against 12 men at Parkhead? Nothing.

Levein – who actually quoted Lenny in his moan at Madden – gets hit with a suspension.

Listen, everyone needs to take a step back and take a deep breath when it comes to refs. It’s got a bit over the top.

But this SFA summit planned for later in the month should not just be about the men in black. It should also be about the men in the back.

Everyone involved in the disciplinary system needs to buck up their ideas and start to deal with all the mindboggling inconsistencies.

That’s the real gorilla in the room.