Dear Coleen

ALL WE DO IS DRINK AND ARGUE

MY GIRLFRIEND and I are both in our 40s and have been together for two years. The first year was great but the last year has been hard. We got together quite quickly after coming out of long-term relationships, so that might have something to do with it.

Recently, we’ve been arguing a lot, especially when we’re drunk and it’s nasty. We say horrible things to each other and she often throws stuff around the house. It’s not nice.

I realise I need to stop drinking so much and I want to, but it’s hard.

Because we’re not getting on, alcohol has become a crutch and she likes to drink.

It’s becoming clear we’re very different people and I don’t know whether we can make it work. Can you help? arguing. If you’re sober, you’ll be able to see things more clearly and, hopefully, you’ll be able to walk away.

And if you stop getting drunk, you’ll be able to think more clearly about the relationship and work out whether it’s right for you and if you’re prepared to work things out.

It might be that your personalities are just too different to make it work long-term and perhaps you are carrying unresolved issues from previous relationships, which is why you’re blowing up at each other when you’ve had too much to drink.

But it’s hard to take control when you’re drinking this much. Alcohol might numb the pain for a short time but it only makes things harder in the long run.