Dear Coleen I AM FALLING FOR A YOUNG GUY AT WORK

I WORK with this really lovely guy and we have a great working and personal relationship. However, I’m now developing deeper feelings for him which are affecting our friendship. I’m wondering if I should just come clean with him.

The thing is, there are a few obstacles – not only that we’re colleagues and friends, but he is 23 and I am 40, so there’s a significant age gap.

I am probably crazy for even contemplating a serious relationship with him and I’m also worried about what people at work – and my family and friends – would think about it. What advice can you give me? It’s difficult to share this problem with anyone else.

Coleen says

YOUR letter is focused on all the negatives of a potential relationship with this guy and you admit yourself that you are probably crazy for even contemplating it. And I agree – I think there’s an awful lot for you to consider before making a move.

Yes, you’re dealing with a 17-year gap, which is only going to feel wider as you get older, and it could also change the dynamic at work. Will you be able to cope at work if he turns you down? What if you end up dating and then split up?

Be careful that it’s not lust or infatuation that’s clouding your judgment. If you knew this guy outside work, I’d be more likely to suggest having some fun and seeing where it goes but you have more to lose if you’re colleagues at the same firm and the gamble doesn’t pay off.