JOSEPH MURPHY

is a 31-year-old film-maker.

■ I tried doing comedy to Peter Pan and the Lost Boys. But my jokes never land.

■ Why is Moe always saying he wants to kill the young Simpson boy? Because he’s a Bart-ender.

■ I’ve been using the following chat-up line on Tinder: “Hey girl, have you ever taken out a loan? Because I’m alone.”

■ Einstein’s girlfriend said: “I just need two things from you, time and space.” He replied: “Yeah, and what’s the second thing?” @Musicjoe11