STEVE THOMSON - AKA STEVE THE JUGGLER

is a 41-year-old entertainer from Stirling.

■ Can anyone remind me how to use WD-40? I’m a bit rusty.

■ Managed to swallow the entire DVD box set of James Bond, then I got the Living Daylights kicked out of me.

■ I put my hair in a bun yesterday. It tasted horrible.

■ My stomach gets upset and criticises me every time I enter a talent contest. Must be Irritable Cowell Syndrome.

■ Decided to clean my house with a Dalmatian. Now it’s spotless. @SteveJuggler