Don’t fancy chances of skate escape from Brexit turmoil
GEMMA Collins is deciding on her future options after finally being voted off Dancing on Ice.
The lassie needs to earn money soon. After that fall the other week, the ice rink’s planning to sue her for injuries sustained.
The GC isn’t the only one skating on thin ice.
Old footage of Ant & Dec in blackface on Saturday Night Takeaway has resurfaced.
Dec offered no excuse. Though Ant’s claiming his black face is just down to hunners of Guinness stains.
On even thinner ice is Brexit. Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn look set to hold further talks over leaving the EU because their respective Brexit policies appear to have something in common.
Mainly that not a single person in their parties agrees with them.
Elsewhere in Europe, five pictures said to have been painted by Adolf Hitler have failed to sell at auction in Germany.
Which has come as a surprise to many. When the bidding started, you would have thought his fans would have been only too keen to put their hands in the air.
While in Russia, a male British ballet star has been detained by police in Moscow on a charge of possessing cocaine.
The polis noticed a suspicious looking pouch on the guy.
Though it turned out that was just the way his tutu was sitting.
As always, it comes back to money. Figures suggest that bank fraud victims are waiting seven months on average to get their money refunded.
That’s one day for the banks to process the refund.
And six months 30 days for them to
AIR TRAVEL analysts say it could be only a matter of time before more budget airlines around the world go bust following the collapse of Air Berlin, Germania, Primera and Monarch. The good news is, if your carrier goes bust, you’ll be transferred to the plane of another airline. The bad news is, it will probably be done mid-flight.
grasp the concept of giving money back to their customers.
Usually you’d get money saving expert Martin Lewis involved but the bold Martin had to pull all his TV appearances because of a very painful throat ulcer.
It shouldn’t have developed into a painful one, but he worked out that the cheapest way of treating it was to cut it out with a rusty old knife in his kitchen.
On the upside, Daniel Radcliffe thinks the Harry Potter movies will definitely be rebooted – when JK Rowling needs the money.
So at a rough estimate, we’re looking at some time between a Brexit deal getting sorted and around hell freezing over. Aye, that’s what I call thin ice.
● People are being encouraged to know their cholesterol and blood pressure numbers as well as they know their bank pin code – because it could save their life.
Should be easy enough. Most people’s cholesterol and blood pressure are nice round figures.
Unfortunately, thanks to overeating, so are they.
● Theresa May is urging MPs to give her more time to secure changes to her Brexit deal.
Jacob Rees-Mogg is set to give her another 157 years. But only because he thinks we’re living in the year 1862.