Dear Coleen

I’VE been with my long-distance boyfriend for nearly three years. All was well until last year when I found out he was secretly befriending other girls online and had been chatting to them for months, especially while he was working away in the US.

However, I stayed strong and decided to trust him as I didn’t have any strong evidence that anything else was going on at that point.

Out of the blue, he told me that he wasn’t ready to commit and decided we should take a break and have no contact for three months. He got back in touch after the break, apologised and promised he’d never hurt me again.

We were slowly patching things up, but in January I discovered he was having very intimate roleplay with some other girls online. I didn’t need to hack into his account – all the messages can be seen publicly on his profile and theirs.

Over that time, we didn’t see each other as he claimed he had to be with his family. Again, I put up with it but I felt at rock bottom and told him so. He just said there was nothing going on with these girls and, that if I had doubts, we should take another break.

He was so cold and made out it was all my problem. Basically, he’s doing sexual and romantic things online, which feels to me like cheating and I can’t accept it.

But he makes out it’s me who’s being stupid and overreacting.

What’s your advice?