Ole, Ole, Ole.. we’ve signed up a new Brexit Secretary

A MASSIVE well done to Ole Gunnar Solskjaer.

Manchester United looked to be heading out of Europe but at the very last minute, he was able to keep them in.

Meaning he’s expected to be confirmed in his the new full-time post this week. Forget United manager, Ole’s the new Brexit Secretary.

It’s been a week of celebrations. Russell Brand has been toasting being named Star Baker on the Celebrity Bake Off charity special.

He won it by baking a cake representing an intimately detailed lady part. Prue Leith described it as surprisingly beautiful. Paul Hollywood left his wife for it.

The first public gig by John Lennon and Yoko Ono was celebrated 50 years after it took place in Cambridge with a commemorative plaque and a recording of the show. The audience started loads of high-pitched screams during the show.

Nothing to do with Beatlemania. They were just singing along with Yoko.

Sticking with music, Sugababe Heidi Range has revealed that she spent most of her 20s terrified that her cellulite would be photographed by the paparazzi.

But now she’s older, Heidi isn’t worried any more. Because she has greater maturity, inner calmness and, most important of all, a pair of trousers.

The cast of Strictly Come Dancing have been celebrating being re-employed for another year.

The hit show has announced its line-up of professionals for the 2019 series and all the same dancers are back. It means Anton Du Beke will be dancing with a 79-year-old woman.

And so will Katya Jones if her husband has anything to do with it. Elsewhere at the BBC, there were celebrations that Call The Midwife has been renewed for two more seasons.

Technically, it’s one more season. But to reflect the NHS, they want a two-year delay before being seen.

Over on ITV, Ant McPartlin’s ex Lisa Armstrong has landed a job as a make-up artist on TOWIE.

More good news. Her planned financial settlement from Ant will allow her to buy all the industrial-sized trowels needed in her new role.

Which leads nicely back to our final celebration. The news that a cycling club of adult entertainment stars who raise money for charity might be able to overturn their ban by British Cycling. Fair enough. Apparently cycling chiefs are just worried what might happen if one of the cyclists has a flat tyre – and asks another one for a quick pumping.