Drive to survive
Ex-soldier says rally racing helped save him from brink of suicide
A WAR hero who became a racing driver despite losing his legs in Afghanistan has told how he was suicidal after leaving the Army.
David Birrell said he was left broken physically and mentally.
The father of four added: “Following the amputation of my legs and my discharge from the Army, I got in the car and was ready to drive it over a cliff. I’m ashamed and embarrassed about it now but I thought my life was over.
“Losing my legs was nothing compared with the mental torture I felt. It wasn’t really about dying. I just wanted to escape the unbearable pain, the nightmares, the flashbacks, the guilt.
“I saw things no human being should see. Friends evaporated in front of me.
“I felt guilty for being alive. I felt worthless.”
David’s legs were badly injured when an IED exploded in Afghanistan in 2010.
His interpreter, who stepped on the home-made bomb, was killed outright.
David opened his heart about his dark days after a spate of soldier suicides.
The most recent was Rab McAvoy, 39, who was found dead in woodland last month after a search.
David, 33, said he understood what it was like to be left battling demons after serving in the Army.
He added: “I couldn’t think clearly. The Army for me was everything. I was heartbroken when they discharged me.
“Then my first wife left me when our relationship crumbled during my recovery.
“I felt useless. I was isolated and homeless. I didn’t have purpose any more.”
David managed to pick his life up and he has now found a new calling as a racing driver.
He is determined to be the first double amputee to compete in the Le Mans 24-hour endurance race in France.
David’s zest for life is a far cry
from his struggles with post traumatic stress disorder
He said: “I just wanted to end the pain. But that would have been the easiest thing to do. The hardest thing was to get up and do something about it.
“I knew I had to find a reason to go on for my kids. So I started racing. It had been a lifelong dream. And it saved me.”
David spoke out in the wake of fellow Scot Rab’s death. The 39-year-old Royal Engineer, originally from Netherthird, Ayrshire, had been in the Army for more than 20 years.
He was found dead after going missing from his home in Dorset.
David said: “This is the first time I’m sharing some of the harder, darker, lower moments and what led me to racing.
“I felt it was important to get vulnerable and raw.”
David’s personal life is now much happier. He fell in love with nurse Mary Parkinson, who helped him battle to health after his injuries, and they have a baby son Ethan.
Former Black Watch solder and Daily Record Our Forces hero David, of Methil, Fife, has already become the first double amputee driver to race against able-bodied contestants.
We revealed last year that his bid to take part in the Le Mans event had hit the skids. He needs to raise money to compete after a US businessman pulled £75,000 of backing. ● To help, see David’s fundraising page ay gofundme.com.