SHE CHEATS, THEN MATES SUPPORT HER

Dear Coleen

I’M a guy in my late 20s and recently split up with my long-term girlfriend. She slept with someone else, which was the final nail in the coffin, but the truth is, things had been going south for us for a while.

We decided to split up (fairly amicably) and I agreed not to make a thing of her affair.

To be honest, I’m quite a private person and don’t like airing my dirty laundry in public, so I was happy with the arrangement.

She’s upset about the break-up and I am too because we were dating for four years.

However, our friends have pulled out the stops to be there for her and invite her out, while I’ve been sidelined.

I don’t want to break a promise and reveal her affair or go into our relationship at all but I feel fed-up that she’s getting all the attention and all the invites.

Does that sound childish?

Coleen says

NO, OF course not. Maybe she’s making a big thing about being heartbroken and confiding in everyone, so that’s why they’re rallying around.

Your feelings are just as valid though, and you shouldn’t be embarrassed about reaching out to your friends.

You don’t have to go into the ins and outs of your relationship (or the affair) if you don’t want to, but you can get in touch with people and say you’re feeling a bit down since the break-up and would welcome some nights out.

Perhaps because you’re quite a private person and don’t let people in much, your mates think you’re either doing OK or won’t welcome any prying or extra attention.

Tell them how you really feel and I’m sure they’ll be there for you too.