Hate-filled language of Brexit puts us all in danger
Jo fought for causes but never stooped to personal insults
MY family feels the absence of Jo every single day. Her laughter that used to bounce round our home has gone – only occasionally drifting back into our lives when we watch home videos we treasure.
Her energy and enthusiasm we miss every day and we sometimes struggle without it, especially when the kids are ill or when I’m in need of a rest.
But this week it feels like our family isn’t the only one who is missing Jo’s presence. The country is missing Jo, too.
Jo was passionate about what she believed in, she fought as hard as she could for the causes she believed in. But she never stooped to personal insults or impugning the motives of others.
She had an incredible capacity for empathy and always sought to build bridges with others, to try to understand why people disagreed with her, rather than to dismiss or label them.
And it is this attitude that we all need to adopt today.
To state the obvious, Brexit is a divisive issue. One that good people with the best of intentions and who deeply care about their country can vehemently disagree over. And that’s as it should be.
Politics should be passionate, committed and honest. Jo personified this. But being passionate isn’t the same as vicious, tribal and hate-filled. And it feels like it’s the latter that we are heading towards.
We are quick to spot this when it targets us.
Remainers are quick to notice irresponsible language when they are called “saboteurs”, “traitors” or “enemy of the people” but some of these same people are less quick to recognise how unacceptable it is to call Leavers “racists”, “fascists” or supporters of a coup. And the same is true the other way around.
We all have a duty to dial down the rhetoric because it matters. It matters because it makes people less safe. Overblown rhetoric and extreme language makes violence more likely.
It gives licence to unstable individuals to think that attacks will be supported by those on “their side”.
MPs of all sides facing death threats know this only too well and deserve a concerted attempt to de-escalate. If, heaven forbid, another family finds itself in our situation grieving the loss of a loved one, MPs will unite in condemnation and issue proclamations of unity.
But what matters is not what they will say then, it is what they do now. It’s on that, that they should be judged. Perhaps even more importantly, it matters because this bear pit of polarisation risks poisoning our society and dividing our country for good. You can already see the trend. An issue that a few years ago almost nobody cared about and was not in the top tier of concerns, now dominates and divides. From a complicated debate about our relationship with Europe, we have descended into a for or against.
The issue has become more about the “tribe” that we identify with than the issue at hand. This tribalism – which has already poisoned our politics – will infect us all if we let it.
We don’t have to let it. Because the truth is our politics is a reflection of Westminster, not the country.
In the past few years – while our trust in politics has plummeted – our trust in each other has grown to record levels. We are more positive about our communities than in the past as well.
So, of course, we should look to politicians to lead by example – and the Prime Minister must play a particular role in calming the debate – but we can’t outsource this to our politicians or assume this is all about “the other side”.
Whether or not our country remains the amazing place it is will depend on how we individually and collectively respond to the division that we are facing.
It’s not about giving up on our beliefs or suddenly all agreeing with each other, it’s about being able to disagree better. Seeking to understand rather than condemn.
Remembering, like Jo said, that we have more in common than that which divides us.
If we do that, and I’m confident we can, we will come through Brexit intact and have a chance to rebuild a more United Kingdom.