HE LETS ME PAY FOR EVERYTHING

Dear Coleen

MY FIANCE and I have been together for six years. I love him and want to marry him. However, I have a big issue about the way he expects me to do everything and pay for almost everything, but I’ve never said so directly.

I end up seething and get resentful, which usually ends with me sulking or starting an argument and, to be fair, this leaves him confused about why I’m so mad.

His job pays next to nothing, while I’m a solicitor and earn good money, so I can afford to pay for more than him. But I feel he should do more for me – help at home, arrange stuff for us to do, but we seem to be stuck in a rut and not working as a team. But I don’t want to make him feel bad either. Any thoughts?

Coleen says

I THINK it’s important to go into marriage without any big issues unresolved. You want to walk down that aisle feeling confident and happy, not seething with resentment. If you want to postpone the wedding until you’ve worked your way out of this rut, then do it.

It sounds as if you really love each other, but you’re not communicating as you should. You have to be honest with him about how you feel and then you can work out how to make things better. Right now, he can’t react in a positive way because he doesn’t know what you’re angry about.

Money can be an excruciating subject, even for the closest of couples, but if you’re going to spend your lives together you can’t shy away from the topic.

It is important to be a team and you can contribute different things to the relationship, but it’s important for you to tell him what you need from him and what you think is missing in your partnership.