HER EX SENDS FLIRTY MESSAGES

Dear Coleen

I’VE been with my partner for nearly a year and we’re really happy. We each have a child from previous relationships, which we’ve bonded over, and the kids get along well too.

The only problem is her ex-boyfriend (the father of her son), who I’m convinced is on a mission to win her back. She dumped him for being an unreliable, cheating loser and he refuses to accept it’s over between them.

He uses their son as an excuse to text and email her all the time, and the messages are really flirtatious. She doesn’t try to hide them. In fact, she reads them out to highlight how ridiculous they are. All the same, I don’t like it and want it to stop. Any tips?

Coleen says

I THINK it’s high time your girlfriend put some boundaries in place when it comes to contact with her ex.

She needs to tell him to keep his texts and emails strictly to arrangements for their son and make it clear that she won’t reply to any other kind of message.

It must be so irritating for you, especially if this has been going on for nearly a year.

Explain to her how it makes you feel and that you’re worried it’s going to impact your relationship if it carries on much longer.

I think in time he’ll get bored and give up the flirting, but he should still be told where the line is. If your girlfriend is just putting up with this banter, then he’ll take it as encouragement.

But don’t get angry about it either or let it affect the two of you – I’m sure he’d love to know he’s winding you up and causing a rift.