I ROW WITH MUM AFTER DAD LEFT US

Dear Coleen

I’M A 17-year-old girl and live with my mum. My dad moved out nearly a year ago and they’re in the process of getting divorced. I still see my dad a lot but he’s now living with someone else.

My problem is, I’m not getting on with my mum at all. Every time we have a conversation it seems to erupt into a full-blown row and I storm off to my room. I don’t feel she’s very sympathetic towards me and she’s all about rules and regulations.

I want to get on better with her but I don’t know how. Can you give me some advice?

Coleen says

FIRSTLY, it’s pretty normal for teenagers and parents to clash, but I think things are probably more intense in your house because of the divorce and your dad moving out. It’s a lot for both you and your mum to process.

You’re probably missing your dad, even though you see him a lot, and your mum might be angry or stressed and lonely. I imagine emotions are running high.

I really think it’s just about having a frank conversation with your mum, explaining how you feel, but also telling her that you want to help her and be close to her.

You’re in this together, so it would be really good if you could help each other out.

She’s probably being extra strict at the moment because she doesn’t have the support of your dad at home when it comes to parenting. But she’ll be doing it with the best of intentions – because she loves you and wants you to be safe and happy.

I think it would help you to try to see things from her point of view, then she’ll give you more freedom. It’s all about communicating.