Record pets.

No uniform satisfaction

WE are facing a revolt. There is civil unrest. There is mutiny in the ranks.

The normally tribally disparate groups of vets, nurses, receptionists and ancillary staff are joining forces to form one massive army, which has battalions of intellect, legions of experience and platoons of know-how.

I fear it will be a fight we cannot win.

But that’s OK because the outcome, whatever it is, is important only in a personal way. It will not affect animal or human health. It will not change the world. It will just make it easier for some and more pleasurable for others.

I am talking, of course, about the battle for new uniforms. Being a “traditional” practice, we have been clinging on to the age-old system of standard issue bottle green veterinary nursing kit, blue animal care assistant outfits, crisp, white, SATURDAY ■ Ayrshire Collie Club championship show, Riverside Lodge Hotel, Irvine, 9.30am. ■ Basset Hound Club of Scotland championship show, CrawfordJohn Public Hall, 10.30am. BY NEIL McINTOSH starched pinnies for receptionists and white laboratory coats for male veterinary staff. Female vets switched to the ER-type scrubs a few years ago.

These all pose problems, however. The green nursing top and trousers, for example, are not the most comfortable in the summer, nor are they particularly flattering, no matter what the season.

Meanwhile, the animal care assistants complain that they look like gas delivery men and the receptionists moan that only a boil wash will restore any degree of whiteness to their jaded attire.

So things will change. Catalogues will be pored over.

Many samples will be ordered. There will be a ■ North of Scotland Sheepdog Club open show, 9.30am, Stonehaven Town Hall. ■ Hunt, Point, Retrieve Club of Scotland open show, Aytoun Hall, Auchterarder, 10.30am. ■ Bulldog Club of Scotland steady succession of trips to the staff room – one person changing while the other holds the door shut.

There will be arguments and protests and much weeping and wailing. And then there will be scrubs.

Much promoted by television programmes, where there are people on hand to iron out every last crease, multi-coloured scrubs have become the fashion statement of the medical world. And that’s all well and good. But they do, for me and for many others, create somewhat of a problem.

And that is simply that it can be quite impossible to separate the cleaner from the brain surgeon. A prerequisite to the smooth running of any organisation is that workers can be identified properly by each other and by customers.

You only have to look at armies to see how important that can be. championship show, Barony College, Dumfries, 10am. ■ Terrier Club of Scotland open show, 10am, Ladywood Leisure Centre, Penicuik. ■ Hound Association of Scotland open show, Gielsland Estate, Wardrop Street, Beith, 10am.