MY MAN IS BANNED FROM HER WEDDING

Dear Coleen

I HAVE a major issue with my daughter, who’s getting married next year and doesn’t want my partner of 10 years to come as he doesn’t get on with her stepdad.

She said it’s up to me whether I go, but she’ll be having all my ex’s (her stepdad’s) family there, as well as former friends of mine.

She’s said she won’t be inviting any of my side of the family as they won’t speak to her.

This is because she took her stepdad’s side after I got him arrested for hitting us both.

Also, my son (her brother) passed away 11 years ago and she isn’t even inviting his daughter. I don’t know what to do. Have you any advice?

Coleen says

WELL, it sounds as if she’s made up her mind.

You’re not going to like this, but it is her day and, as upsetting as it is for you, I think you have to accept what she wants or choose not to attend.

If there’s a lot of animosity between you and your partner and your ex and his family, then perhaps she is simply trying to avoid any rows or even just a bad atmosphere at her wedding. She won’t want to spend the day worrying about how people are going to behave.

I know this is really tough for you and, without more detail, I don’t know why your daughter would choose to side with your ex if he was violent.

However, I think the most important thing is maintaining a relationship with your daughter, so don’t fall out with her over one day.

Why not get involved with the preparations and attend the wedding on your own – there are bound to be other people there you can talk to?

If you choose not to attend, you could suggest having another smaller celebration with you and your partner. Try to make something work.