Drinking is out of control & I’m scared

Dear Coleen

I’VE been married for seven years now and we have a five-year-old daughter. We were in the US for five years but are now back home.

Everything was fine before the move and then my husband started facing problems at work and began drinking.

After two-and-a-half years, he’s addicted to alcohol and having health issues.

We argue frequently because of it and the other day we had a huge fight where we hit each other.

I really don’t want to continue like this but I’m worried he’ll take my daughter away from me, which he threatens all the time.

He had agreed to get help and was planning to go to rehab but I don’t know whether he’ll do it.

I’m lost in this situation and don’t know what to do. Please help.

Coleen says

FIRSTLY, don’t let him threaten you with taking your daughter away. I doubt very much he’d be granted custody of your child, especially in view of his alcohol problems.

He feels desperate and that’s where this is coming from – it’s an attempt to keep you where you are. He’s banking on you being too afraid to leave.

Here’s what I think you should do – pack your bags and go. For the sake of your daughter, you need to remove yourself from that toxic and volatile environment.

He needs to consider properly how his behaviour is impacting his relationships and what he has to lose. From what you’ve said, he’s in a very unhappy place with his job following the move and is using alcohol as a crutch.

But, as I’m sure you’re aware, you can’t force him to seek help. He has to want help or it won’t work. Maybe if you separate, he’ll reach that place.