FELL IN LOVE WITH REALITY TELLY
SUBO We are so knowing about reality TV these days that if Susan Boyle arrived on screen tomorrow, we’d all dismiss her as a cynical and contrived sob story. However, it was a different story when Susan shuffled on to the BGT stage in 2009. It was such a powerful TV moment, Simon Cowell has spent the best part of 10 years trying to recreate it. ★Most memorable moment: Her vocals on I Dreamed A Dream, of course. Oh, and her flirting with Piers Morgan. He’d met his match and he knew it.
SIMON COWELL He may be more famous these days for changing his own face, but only a fool would deny that Simon Cowell changed the face of television forever. He wasn’t above being seduced by the power of reality TV himself either. The 2003 fly-onthe-wall documentary Being Simon Cowell was a real eye-opener. In fact, I reckon a second series is way overdue. ★Most memorable moment: No contest. Will Young turning the tables on Simon when he dismissed him as “distinctly average” on Pop Idol in 2002. Possibly the first – and last – time we saw Simon lost for words on a TV show. All he could muster in defeat was a pitiful: “You are a gentleman, sir.”
NASTY NICK BATEMAN The fact that will still call him Nasty Nick is testament to the enduring power of reality TV. His crime on the very first series of Big Brother – passing secret notes to his fellow housemates – seems tame in comparison to what we’ve seen since. At the time though HE DESERVED HELL FIRE! ★ Most memorable moment: The house meeting in which Craig Phillips exposed Nick’s “very dirty plan”. I still recall the message I received from my boss as it was happening: “Put Channel 4 on. Now!”
SHARON OSBOURNE Mrs O’s telly stardom began on MTV’s fly-on-the-wall series The Osbournes in 2002, and it was no surprise when Simon Cowell snapped her up in 2004. She remains the most entertaining judge The X Factor has ever had. ★Most memorable moment: Sharon throwing bagels and a ham joint over her LA neighbour’s fence in an early episode of The Osbournes in protest at their late-night folk-singing. Then the police showed up.
DAVINA McCALL It’s hard to describe just how much of a TV event Friday nights were in the early years of Big Brother. Much of the credit for that went to the host. Davina lived and breathed Big Brother and she conducted the crowd on eviction night like a circus ringmaster. ★Most memorable moment: The genuine OMG moment in 2005 when Davina wore a black bikini as she conducted Sam Heuston’s eviction interview. TV hosts just didn’t do that in those days.
ANT & DEC Okay, so Ant & Dec would probably still have been stars without reality TV. But, would reality TV have been such a success without them though? I doubt it. I’m A Celebrity would have finished at least six years ago. All we need now is for one of them to be a contestant. ★ Most memorable moment: Nothing tops the absolute joy in their eyes as Paul Burrell squealed his way through that Bushtucker Trial in 2004.
KERRY KATONA It could be argued that she is the epitome of reality TV – she has literally lived her real life on our screens. When that happens you have to take the good with the bad, and as the bad has been so well documented, let’s celebrate
ANN WIDDECOMBE She may not be your political cup of tea, but her reality TV show pedigree cannot be disputed. We were all behind her as she attempted to shift some chunk on Celebrity Fit Club in 2002 and we were definitely there for her comedy routines with Anton Du the good. She won I’m A Celebrity in 2004 and was runner-up on Celebrity Big Brother in 2011. So at least the public loves her. ★ Most memorable moment: The Iceland adverts Kerry did after becoming Queen of the Jungle still make me smile. Prawn ring, anyone?
Beke in 2010’s Strictly. Following accusations of homophobia, she fared less well with some viewers on Celebrity Big Brother in 2018. ★Most memorable moment: That paso doble on Strictly. We didn’t know if Anton was dancing with her or performing a citizen’s arrest.
ALISON HAMMOND Some people might have taken being voted out second on Big Brother as a hint. Not Alison Hammond. She bounced back and ended up taking part in Strictly and I’m A Celeb. Not only that, she carved out a niche on This Morning and is now one of the finest showbiz interviewers on British TV. ★Most memorable moment: Pretending she’d peed in the Big Brother shower to annoy clean freak Alex Sibley. It may have led indirectly to her eviction, but was probably worth it.
NIKKI GRAHAME You might not recognise the name, but if I were to shout “Who. Is. She?” it might all come flooding back. I can’t really remember any other specifics about Nikki in Big Brother in 2006. I just recall her being incredibly annoying, delightfully mischievous and addictively watchable. Basically, the perfect housemate. ★Most memorable moment: The full version went like this: “Who. Is. She? Who is she? Who is she? Where did you find her? (Long and deep sigh).”
JADE GOODY Jade remains the most powerful example of reality TV’s ability to turn an unknown into a star. In the space of one barmy summer she went from being a dental nurse in Bermondsey to being one of the most talked-about celebs in Britain. Jade’s life ended tragically young but even then she pushed the boundaries, taking part in a fly-on-the-wall series as she prepared for death following her cancer diagnosis. ★Most memorable moment: Jade and bridesmaids going up West to Harrods to blag some wedding gear. You can take the girl out of Bermondsey…