HER BEST MATE ALWAYS TAGS ALONG

Dear Coleen

I’VE been seeing my girlfriend for a few months and we’re both in our 20s. My problem is, she lives with her best mate and they do everything together. This friend constantly invites herself out with us, so we’re hardly ever in a situation where we’re alone together. When I’m round at hers, her friend is there, if we go to the pub, her friend tags along.

It’s not that I dislike this girl – she’s nice and a good laugh – but I don’t want to see her all the time and I don’t know how our relationship will ever develop if she’s always with us.

I don’t want to make a big deal of it or make my girlfriend think I’m being possessive but I need to say something. I never invite a mate along unless a group of us are going out for a drink.

Coleen says

I DON’T think it’s unreasonable at all to ask your girlfriend if you could have dates where it’s just the two of you.

Maybe she and her friend are so used to hanging out together and doing everything as a twosome that she just hasn’t thought about how you fit in and if you’re happy about it. Or, if her friend is single, maybe she feels a bit sorry for her and doesn’t want to upset her by leaving her out.

She shouldn’t be upset if you make it clear that you’re not expecting her to dump her mate and that you like spending time with her too – just not all the time. I know you don’t want to make a big deal of it but, you’re right, unless you get to spend some time on your own, it’ll be hard for the relationship to grow.