MY EX DOESN’T SUPPORT OUR GROWN-UP SONS

Dear Coleen

I’VE been divorced since 1992 and have two grown-up sons. My ex married the woman he left me for and they had a daughter together.

She has never had any time for our boys and didn’t want him to spend time with them or spend his money on them. She runs the show.

The court ordered him to pay for their university educations but he only paid their rent, while forking out for school for their daughter.

Now one of our sons has loans and ended up quitting before graduating. He now wants to go back but I can’t afford it.

He refuses to address this with his dad who has the money to help him. What should I do? I’m frustrated by a man who is so weak.

Coleen says

WELL, you could start by getting some legal advice on where you stand in terms of your ex funding your son’s education.

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said your ex is “weak” – he sounds weak when it comes to standing up to his wife.

If your son doesn’t want to confront his dad, then why don’t you swallow your pride and speak to him on his behalf?

There’s no need to be angry or accusatory but you can remind him he still has a responsibility to his children and that his son needs some help. You’re not asking for limitless funds – you’re asking for a specific amount of money so your son can finish his education.

Also, he should be spending time with them and taking an interest in their lives. If he doesn’t change his attitude, he may live to regret it in years to come.

He may find his sons don’t want anything to do with him and who could blame them? The decisions he makes now are crucial if he wants to maintain a relationship.