KIDS WILL BE UPSET IF I DUMP GIRLFRIEND

Dear Coleen

I’M a divorced man with two daughters aged six and nine. I started seeing a woman last summer and we fell in love quite quickly.

I thought we were perfect for each other and, stupidly, my mind raced ahead to marriage and the pair of us living together.

Luckily, I did neither of those things, as I’ve now realised she’s not the one for me after all.

The problem is, my daughters love her. I introduced her to them after a couple of months of dating and they’ve spent a lot of time together.

I know my girls will be heartbroken if we split but that’s what I want to do.

Can you advise?

Coleen says

WELL, you can’t stay with her for the sake of your daughters. I’m sure you’re kicking yourself now for involving your girlfriend in family life as much as you have, but beating yourself up over it won’t help anyone.

I’m sure you thought you were doing the right thing at the time and expected this relationship to last.

You have to remember, you’re a million times more important to your daughters than your girlfriend. They’ve known her a matter of months and they will get over it.

I think the way to present it to them is to say that sometimes grown-ups fall out of love and decide they’ll be happier with other people, but emphasise that it’s nothing to do with them or anything they’ve said or done.

The most important thing is that you’re a consistent and loving presence in their lives.

But don’t shy away from being honest in an age-appropriate way – and speak to your girlfriend before speaking to your daughters.