WAITING FOR MR RIGHT BEFORE HAVING SEX

Dear Coleen

I’M A 24-year-old woman and, depressingly, I’m still a virgin. Part of the problem is that I’ve never had a serious relationship and I don’t want my first time to be a one-night stand with someone I hardly know.

I’m told I’m beautiful all the time and I get plenty of interest from guys. I have hooked up with quite a few of them and experimented sexually but it’s never progressed to full sex.

I really want that experience to be with someone I love but where is he? I’m worried if I keep holding out for the man of my dreams, I’ll be 40 before I have sex. Help!

Coleen says

I THINK you’ve watched too many romcoms. OK, here’s the thing – how will you ever find out if a man is the real deal if you don’t at least try to get to know him better? You seem to discard men after a bit of fooling around before moving on to the next one.

You also need to start letting people in and allowing them to get to know you. Go on some proper dates that don’t end with hopping into bed for foreplay that never leads anywhere.

True intimacy is something that grows from knowing and trusting someone, and I think that’s what you need before taking that next step.

However, if you’re holding out for some idea of the “perfect man”, there’s no such thing I’m afraid. But there will be someone who’s right for you.

It might help to take the focus away from sex and losing your virginity, and focus instead on building relationships.