Will I survive UK’s toughest life coach?
TEETH chattering, I’m standing in a freezing cold shower for the third day in a row.
It’s not because I’m a masochist or that my boiler has broken. Instead, I’m trying to build mental resilience and toughen up when it comes to dealing with stress.
Being blasted by icy water might seem an unusual and rather extreme way to tackle anxiety but it’s all under the guidance of mental toughness coach Penny Mallory.
Her philosophy is simple – she believes that in order for us to have a successful and happy life we need to be mentally tough.
Penny, 54, lives by what she preaches. A motivational speaker as well a life coach, she had a difficult childhood, growing up with a mother who was alcoholic and bipolar.
She ran away at the age of 14 and spent the next few years living on the streets in London.
It wasn’t until she hit rock bottom at 22 that she decided to follow a childhood dream.
Penny said: “I wanted to be a rally car driver. I was determined to succeed and I wasn’t going to let anything stop me. Twelve years later I was the first woman to compete on the rally circuit for Ford.”
She credits mental toughness for her success in that male-dominated industry.
The first stage of my coaching is to fill in a psychometric test to assess my mental toughness in four areas: control, commitment, confidence and challenge.
Penny is unsurprised at my low score – four out of 10 – as we’re living through such challenging times.
She said: “Even the toughest, most successful people will be struggling at the moment.”
She said that increasing my mental toughness is important if I’m to thrive. Hence why I find myself in a cold shower.
“If you can commit to taking a cold shower for seven days, every day, you will have shown yourself that you have resilience,” said Penny. “Either you’re committed or not.” Penny pointed out that by worrying about different things all the time, my body is under constant stress from cortisol racing around it.
She set me another task – to do something I’m dreading and to note how I feel before, during and after.
I choose taking my son on a bike ride. I’m worried my dire sense of direction will get us lost and I’ll end up shouting at
VISUALISATION Think of your goal and then imagine the outcome you want. See it playing out in front of you. Think about what you’ll wear and what you’ll say. Enjoy the feeling of success. RELAXATION Quieten a busy mind the with relaxation techniques or guided meditation. For guidance download an app such as Calm. POWER STANCE Stand with your legs just wider than shoulders and your hands on your hips. Keep your chest out and chin up. Now say or think about your goal. You him. When we get home, I feel relieved and happy. I realise I spent a lot of negative energy thinking something would happen before it actually had.
I just need to replace pessimistic thinking with optimism… and finish my week of cold showers. ●See pennymallory.co.uk should feel strong and powerful. SELF-TALK Catch yourself when you’re being negative. Use phrases like “I can” and “I will”. Write down things so you can look at them and decide if it is helpful or true. Try to reframe your thoughts in a helpful way.