LOCKDOWN’S MADE ME QUESTION MOVE

Dear Coleen

I’M a 28-year-old man and 18 months ago I moved to Spain to live with my girlfriend, who’s Spanish. At first, I was excited about it but this lockdown has made me realise that I don’t want to live here any more and that I miss my old life. I just don’t know how to break it to her.

I used to buy cheap flights and fly home a lot, so I wasn’t as homesick, but now I can’t do that and haven’t been back since Christmas. I feel a bit pathetic and keep thinking my gorgeous girlfriend should be enough – but somehow it’s not.

Any ideas on what I should do?

Coleen says

YES, you need to discuss how you feel with your girlfriend. If you don’t, you’ll start to feel resentful and even depressed, and the relationship will suffer. If you love her and she loves you, you need to talk about how you can make it work.

The lockdown is slowly being eased and I’m sure you will be able to fly home soon. Maybe you need to give it some time, once the lockdown is over, to see how you feel then.

I also think it takes a good couple of years to really feel settled somewhere new. It takes time to find your social network and for the place to feel familiar. I remember feeling homesick when I moved from Blackpool to London and it took me quite a while to feel happy, but I did.

If you tell your girlfriend how you feel, maybe she can help. We’re all feeling cut off from our loved ones, but you might feel better about the move when you’re able to make trips home.