My teenage sweetheart is being abused by his wife

watched all the time, at home and work. His wife’s life has been awful – she was beaten by one husband, while the other turned out to be a criminal. She had two daughters who tragically died in childhood, yet she wouldn’t go for counselling.

My ex tried to get her to go to relationship therapy but she refused. What shocked me was that he said lockdown was fine because that’s how his life is anyway.

He’s stopped replying to my texts now. His wife told him I’d take him to the cleaners (not true – I don’t care about money), and she’s threatened to sell the house and he’ll get nothing, even though it’s in both names. I’m concerned about him – he’s so controlled by her that he defends her and is in denial about what’s going on.

I love him so much but he’s stopped replying to texts. What do I do? suspect he was using you but it sounds as if he’s in a mentally abusive relationship with a controlling partner.

It doesn’t sound healthy but he’s probably at a point where he believes what she’s telling him. I’ve listened to many people in that situation and they believe they’ll amount to nothing without their abusive partner because that’s what they’ve been told so often.

The fear of that combined with the fact their self-esteem has been crushed is what stops them from walking out.

It’s not true that he would leave his marriage with nothing – he would get his fair share of any assets.

His wife has clearly been through a lot in her life and never had professional help.

She’s controlling his life because she’s terrified of losing him too, which, of course, isn’t right.

The bottom line is, you can tell him you’re there for him, but he has to find it within himself to leave.

You could pass on the details for ManKind (mankind.org.uk), which supports male victims of domestic abuse, including mental abuse.

She won’t let him leave the house unless she goes too