LOCKDOWN WOE HAS TURNED SON INTO A RECLUSE

Dear Coleen

MY 19-year-old son came home from his first year of university when lockdown began in March and he hasn’t really been himself since.

He has an older sister and a younger brother, and they seem quite unfazed by the whole thing.

They’ve continued to stay in touch with their friends and now they can get out more, they’ve been meeting up with them.

My middle son, however, just can’t seem to be bothered to see friends or even talk to us. He stays in his room the whole time. He’s now saying he might not bother going back to finish his course. I’m at the end of my tether. How can I help him?

Coleen says

THIS must be such a tough situation for you all, and even though he’s 19, he’s still your baby.

As a mum, you can always spot when things aren’t quite right, so trust your instincts on this one.

If this behaviour has been a continuous thing since March, then it needs addressing. The first thing I’d do is talk to him.

Say, “Listen, I know you think I’m interfering but I’m your mum and I’m worried about you and the life you’re living right now. You just don’t seem happy. Am I right to think that?”

Don’t make accusations, just gently open up a conversation with him. You could then start planning family trips to the park, the cinema or a restaurant.

Don’t give him the option of coming – just say, right, we’re all going, come on everybody. As for your other son and daughter, it’s easy to compare our kids but don’t forget they’re all different.

If your son doesn’t want to open up, I suggest you speak to your GP or a counsellor at his university for advice on how to help him further.

Good luck.