HUSBAND WANTS MY IN-LAWS TO MOVE IN WITH US

Dear Coleen

MY husband is going to be working from home for the foreseeable future, so he wants to move back up north where you can get a lot more for your money. Not only that, he wants to buy somewhere big enough for his parents, who are in their late 60s, to move in with us.

He’s an only child and found it hard to be there for them during lockdown. He’s done a lot of thinking and he’s decided he wants to be closer to them so they can see our three children, who are six, nine and 11, more and we can help them out if needed.

I like his parents, but I’m a bit concerned about living with them.

His mum can be overbearing when it comes to the children and will often point out what she thinks I should or shouldn’t be doing.

I have a nice circle of friends where we live and I’m happy being a couple of hours in the car away from my in-laws. My husband is adamant this is what we should do. What do you think?

Coleen says

HAS he spoken to his parents? If so, I think you should all sit down and discuss how it’s going to work.

You have to be upfront about the fact that it will be hard for all of you to live together.

Other countries and cultures do this sort of thing all the time. So it may work. And to be honest, I love what your husband is doing.

I’d be over the moon if my kids ever wanted to do this for me, it’s every parent’s dream. And the fact he’s an only child means he might feel more pressure when it comes to taking care of his parents. But I get that you find it overwhelming, which is why you need to talk.

His parents may have reservations. They may think, “I hope they don’t expect us to babysit every night”. They probably value their space too.

So talk, and find out.