FEEL LOW SINCE KIDS WENT BACK TO CLASS

Dear Coleen

I’M a married woman in my 40s and have four children – two teenagers and two younger ones.

I’ve always been very organised and run a tight ship – I have to be with four kids. However, lockdown was hard and one of my older kids and one of the younger ones really struggled, which meant it was stressful for the whole family.

Now they’re all back at school, I thought I’d feel relieved but I actually feel quite down.

I’m letting everything slip, I’m forgetting stuff, and I don’t want to meet anyone for coffee or be sociable at all.

It’s like I’ve just given up and it’s so unlike me.

I want to get to grips with things again, but just feel I have no energy or enthusiasm. Can you offer any suggestions?

Coleen says

MANY people will be feeling the same. You suddenly feel redundant – you worked hard in lockdown and every moment was taken up with the kids and now you’re back to being in the house on your own.

I loved just being at home with my kids and their partners over lockdown and now I’m back at work, I miss it and feel a bit down too. It’s about adapting to change – we had to change our whole lives in lockdown and now we’re expected to change them again. It’s a pattern we’re going to be familiar with over the coming months too.

You need to start thinking about yourself and what you want. If my kids all moved out tomorrow, I’d be happy for them but be worried for myself because I haven’t really made a life outside of them. I’m a homebody and don’t have huge groups of mates or any hobbies apart from my horses.

Perhaps you have to force yourself to get out there and do things that make you happy – meet a friend, remind yourself there is life outside your kids.

Ease into it so it doesn’t feel overwhelming. Take it a step at a time and you’ll gain momentum.