WILL HE BE THE ONE OR ROTTEN LIKE THE REST?

Dear Coleen

I’M a 30-year-old woman and have had several failed relationships. I always seem to choose someone who’s turned out to be a total loser and I’ve ended up hurt.

I throw myself into a relationship, only to be let down. I feel like a mug and don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Over the past few months, I’ve been seeing someone. The relationship has progressed quite slowly for a change because of lockdown but I really like him.

He seems very keen and has suggested the idea of us living together at some point, especially with the constant worry of another lockdown.

My heart is saying “go for it”, but my head is saying “be cautious” because of my past experiences. I want to make a go of things with him, but how do I know if he’s The One? I’m wary of being hurt again.

Coleen says

YOU don’t know 100% if your partner is The One when you start dating – and you can’t predict whether you’ll be hurt again.

But not taking a chance on him through worry means you could miss out on a great relationship.

Yes, you’ve been let down a few times but you always got over it.

Also, your boyfriend is not the one who hurt you. Don’t judge him by someone else’s shortcomings.

I’ve been married twice and, when I took those vows, it was absolutely for ever. When my first marriage ended, I never thought I’d meet anyone else, but I did.

Most people have a few relationships before meeting their life partner and you learn something from every one.

Most break ups are horrible, even if it’s your choice, and you mustn’t stop moving forward in a relationship because you’re scared of it ending.