I FEEL HUMILIATED NOW WIFE’S GOT A YOUNGER MAN

Dear Coleen

I’M A man aged 50 and I split with my wife at the end of last year. She’s a lot younger than I am, 36, and we have two young sons.

I was devastated by the break-up – I’m sure it was down to the age gap and I still am. What’s making it much worse is that she’s been seeing another man, who’s closer in age to her at just 34.

It’s humiliating for me, as they post all these photos on social media, kissing, partying and having fun. There are also photos of them with our sons, and it feels like a knife to the heart to see them with another guy. Do you have any advice?

Coleen says

YES, firstly, there’s an “unfollow” option on social media, so use it. Breaking up is tortuous enough, so don’t look at your ex’s feed unless you want more pain.

Further down the line, when you’re in a better place, you can follow her again.

For some people, the age gap doesn’t work out, especially as the years go on and you find yourself wanting different things.

You can still be a fantastic dad to your kids – and I know this, because I’ve been in your situation twice. My boys were very young when I split up with their dad and I’d see photos of them on holiday with my ex Shane and his girlfriend and it’s like a dagger to the heart.

But what helped me was thinking that I wanted my kids to be happy with their dad.

Remember, they’re just photos and it doesn’t mean your kids aren’t happy with you. The only reason they won’t be is if you’re miserable and constantly quiz them about their mum and her new partner. Focus on your relationship with them and on getting happy yourself. Good luck.