WORRIED ABOUT LONG-DISTANCE LOVE

Dear Coleen

MY girlfriend, who’s Spanish, has been offered a job in Barcelona with her company. Initially, it’s for a year and I know she’s excited about it, as it’s a promotion with more money, which is probably quite rare at the moment.

I wouldn’t be going with her, as I have a decent job here that I don’t want to leave, however I’m worried about a long-distance relationship and how it will work.

We’ve been together for two years and things are good, and I don’t feel ready for this kind of change.

The decision is made and she’s going, but I have serious doubts, not least because we all seem to be at the mercy of instant lockdowns, which might stop us seeing each other.

What do you think?

Coleen says

YOU say it’s “initially” for a year, which rings a few alarm bells. I think it’s easier when there’s a definite end date and you can plan visits within that time.

I won’t sugar coat it for you – long-distance relationships are hard and you really have to trust each other and make the effort to stay connected.

The worry for most people is that you’ll drift apart and start living increasingly separate lives.

Having said that, people do make it work with good planning. Unfortunately, I think the only way to see if it’s going to work is to try it.

Then if it doesn’t work for one or both of you, you need to rethink it and decide what your priorities are.

Compromise is vital for the success of any relationship, but if this is a compromise too far for you, then you need to be honest with her.