I’M STARTING TO HATE SHOW-OFF LIFELONG MATE

Dear Coleen

I’M 50 and have a friend I’ve known for 30 years. We met at university and both made our lives in the same city and only live a few streets away from each other.

Now, though, I’m finding it really hard to be friends with her.

I’m divorced and struggle on one wage, while she’s wealthy, thanks to her husband’s job.

That’s great – I’m happy for her – but she constantly rubs my face in it. She’s always talking about the stuff they buy, the things they do and how amazing her kids are.

I’m not a jealous person by nature and not competitive either, at least not outside work. But she seems to delight in doing better in life than I am or her kids doing better than mine. I couldn’t give a monkey’s and when I don’t take the bait, it only makes her go further.

I’ve had enough – she just brings me down all the time. But can I walk away from a friendship that used to be so good?

Coleen says

YOU don’t necessarily have to walk away, unless you want to – and that’s fine. But you don’t always have to be available and you can also be honest about a few things. Your 30-year friendship ought to be able to handle it.

When it comes to her competitiveness, you’re doing the right thing not getting drawn in. When people boast about how wonderful things are and present a perfect image to the world, it usually means the opposite and they’re overcompensating for being unhappy.

It sounds like you need to have a real conversation instead of her talking about money and possessions or rerouting the chat to what your kids are up to.

Be honest and it might open something up and lead you back to a better friendship.