MEGHAN ON I felt a sharp cramp. I knew as I held my firstborn child I was losing my second
THE Queen and other members of the Royal Family have expressed their sadness after the Duchess of Sussex revealed she had suffered a miscarriage, losing her second child with husband Prince Harry.
Meghan, 39, said her miscarriage in the summer brought her unbearable grief, and left Harry, 36, “holding the shattered pieces” of her heart.
Bereavement experts said the revelation, published in a candid article in the New York Times, sent a powerful message to other mothers, and would help break the stigma around what is often an “invisible loss”.
The Queen, 94, and Royal Family were said to be united in their grief for Harry and Meghan.
A palace insider said: “There is, of course, much understandable sadness in the family.”
Earl Spencer, brother of Harry’s late mother Princess Diana, offered his sympathies to his nephew and Meghan, telling ITV’s Lorraine: “I can’t imagine the agony for any couple of losing a child in this way. It’s so very, very sad. And, of course, I totally agree with you, all thoughts with them today.”
Sophie King, a midwife at the charity Tommy’s, paid tribute to Meghan’s bravery for sharing her story.
She said: “One in four pregnancies ends in loss, but it’s a real taboo in society, so mothers like Meghan sharing their stories is a vital step in breaking down that stigma and shame.
“Meghan’s essay praises the bravery of parents who share their stories, and those who prefer to grieve privately can still find comfort and connection in reading about others’ experiences.”
In the article, Meghan, who quit royal duties earlier this year for a new life in California with Harry, told how she had felt a sharp pain while caring for their 17-month-old son Archie.
She wrote: “After changing his diaper, I felt a sharp cramp.
“I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right.
“I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second.
“Hours later, I lay in a hospital bed, holding my husband’s hand. I felt the clamminess of his palm and kissed his knuckles, wet from both our tears.
“Staring at the cold white walls, my eyes glazed over. I tried to imagine how we’d heal.”
By speaking out, she said she hoped to break the cycle of “solitary mourning”.
She wrote: “Losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief, experienced by many but talked about by few. In the pain of our loss, my husband and I discovered that in a room of 100 women, 10 to 20 of them will have suffered from miscarriage.
“Yet despite the staggering commonality of this pain, the conversation remains taboo, riddled with (unwarranted) shame, and perpetuating a cycle of solitary mourning.”
The couple had previously spoken of their dreams of adding to their family.
Harry, 36, told conservation activist Jane Goodall in 2019 that he and Meghan
Meghan is royalty but she’s still human, has still lost, still feels KATHRYN SHEPPARD OF MISCARRIAGE CHARITY
DREAMS They want to have two children would limit their family to two children for the sake of the planet.
Following Meghan’s story, Dr Christine Ekechi of the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists said it was important to break the taboo around the devastating impact of miscarriage.
She said: “Sadly, early miscarriages are common and they can be a devastating loss for parents and their families. It is important we remove any stigma or shame surrounding this issue and adequately support families at this time.”
Clea Harmer, chief executive of still
birth and neonatal death charity Sands, said: “Many people simply don’t know what to say when a baby has died. And because it is an ‘invisible’ loss many mothers go through miscarriage and may never reveal what happened to even their family or closest friends.”
Other royals have experienced the loss of an unborn baby. Princess Anne’s daughter Zara Tindall had two miscarriages before having her second child. Prince Edward’s wife Sophie, Countess of Wessex, lost her first baby in 2001, when she was airlifted to hospital with a potentially life-threatening ectopic pregnancy.
Zara, an Olympic gold medalwinning equestrian, previously revealed the support of her family helped her to cope. She told how for a time “you don’t talk about it because it’s too raw”, adding: “But as with everything, time’s a great healer.”
Meghan is said to have spoken out now because it had taken the couple time to process their loss. Last month a High Court judge agreed to delay the full hearing of Meghan’s £3million privacy and copyright court case against a newspaper publisher over a letter she wrote to her estranged father, Thomas Markle, 76.
The hearing, due to start in January, has been postponed until the autumn of 2021 for confidential reasons. A mother who suf fered four miscarriages, losing five babies – in one pregnancy she was expecting twins – last night praised Meghan for speaking out. Kathryn Sheppard, 45, from Rhondda, south Wales, said: “She is royalty but she’s still a human, she is still lost, she still feels, and it is just that connection.”
Kathryn, whose daughter Rebecca is now seven, became a volunteer for the charity Miscarriage Association to share her story.
She said: “Some people may say, ‘Oh it was early, it was nothing, it was a ball of cells’. No, as soon as that pregnancy test comes back positive, your life has changed.
“You could lose at five weeks, you could lose at 40 weeks – you have lost your hopes, you have lost your dreams.
“Life changes the minute that test turns positive and that’s what I could relate to when the duchess spoke about that grief.”