I AM SO FED-UP WITH ALWAYS BEING DUMPED

Dear Coleen

I’M a man in my 30s and I’m getting more and more down about the state of my love life. I’ve had several relationships – some lasted longer than others – but I’ve never found “the one” and I’m always rejected.

I just can’t seem to make anything work and I’m now at the point where I expect to get dumped – it’s a question of when, not if.

My last break-up was horrible. She said some vile things, which made me feel awful about myself. Apparently, I’m boring and rubbish in bed – the other comments wouldn’t be suitable to print.

I just don’t know where I’m going wrong. None of my friends seem to have these issues and most are in happy, long-term relationships and some have kids too.

This feels so out of reach for me at the moment. I’d love your advice.

Coleen says

FIRST of all, don’t define yourself by these past relationships or by what an ex has said to you.

It’s not good to go into every new relationship believing this stuff and feeling so deeply negative about yourself.

Your last break-up sounds nasty but people often say cruel things in the heat of the moment that aren’t true or that they don’t really mean.

I’ve been dumped a lot in my life – in fact I’ve very rarely been the one to end it – so I understand how crushing it is and how it can make you doubt yourself.

However, I’ve always gone into every new relationship positively, put trust in my partner and thought, “Well, if it doesn’t work out, I know how to come back from it because I’ve done it before.”

And if I hadn’t had that attitude, I wouldn’t have got married for a second time and had my daughter.

You learn something from every relationship, so take the lessons and start believing that you have a lot to offer someone. Good luck.