How to c booze Cut back on the e this Christmas
’TIS the season of temptation when it comes to alcohol.
Former high-flying marketing executive Annie Grace was one drinker who gave in to that lure.
By her mid 20s, she was downing two bottles of wine a day while holding down a job and functioning at home, although she’d wake at 3.33am every day, worrying about her health and feeling disgusted with herself.
Grace, who lives in Colorado, carried on in this manner until her mid-30s, by which time she had a husband, Brian, and two sons, who are now aged 11 and eight. Her third son, now three, wasn’t born during her drinking days.
“I spent a lot of Christmases in a stupor,” she said. “I remember thinking, ‘I’m not going to drink until at least 5pm’, but then it would be two or three in the afternoon or some Christmases it would be star t ing off with mimosas ( champagne and orange juice), and we’d end up drinking the entire day.”
The catalyst came one Christmas.
“My son came over to me and I asked him to sit on my lap and he said, ‘ No mum, you smell bad and your teeth are purple’. It was clearly because of the wine I’d been drinking. It really affected me. I didn’t hit the proverbial rock bottom but when I think of tragic moments, that was certainly one of them.”
She tried to cut back on drinking but found herself drinking more, because setting strict rules and limits for herself didn’t work. As her mindset shifted, she realised she wanted to drink less but it took three years for her to stop completely in December 2014.
During this time, she set out to understand why she was in control in every other area of her life. She learned about alcohol, the brain and body, which resulted in her book This Naked Mind. In it, she explores the reasons people drink and offers ways to find freedom and happiness without alcohol.
Today, at 42, Grace runs a freedom from alcohol movement, offering people strategies to cut back on or give up alcohol altogeth er. She suggests the following strategies for anyone who wants to cut down their drinking over the festive season.
Create mocktails
Make a decision in the run-up to Christmas to have an evening where you make mocktails and develop an enjoyable one. “The ritual is k in often as dr to powerful as u yo the drink and ive we don’t realise dr ws that,” she says. “The ro expectation when we let n’t think about not drinking is Do that it’s going to be miserable. Put aside that expectation and get curious how mocktails might work, which can interrupt that pattern of thought so much.”
Make two lists
“Create two lists – one which is all the reasons you like to drink and the other is all the reasons you’d like to cut back. Compare those lists and decide which one is the more important in your life. Then question the reasons you like to drink and are they true?”
Experiment with th effect of alcohol
“Have an alcoholic drink and t how long it makes you feel g for. The truth is that a drink probably make you feel good maybe 20 to 30 minutes, w your blood alcohol conten rising.
“As soon as the blood alco content starts to fall, your b says, ‘ We are purging the alco and your body starts to feel q bad, restless and upset.
“When you see that – and w to reach for a second dr because you feel worse than did before you poured that drink – you can understand alcohol isn’t actually giving yo evening of euphoria, it’s giving 20 minutes and then making a bit miserable.”
Give yourself targets
“Make a firm decision you can keep, such as ‘I’m not going to drink until 8pm’ and then you know your drinking is going to be consolidated to just a few hours. Don’t compromise on that.
“Often we say, ‘I’m just going to drink less’ and we don’t give ourselves tangible, manageable goals we can achieve.
“Make your goals realistic and really simple. If you break those limits, make yourself curious and not judgmental of yourself. Work out what you were feeling, why you wanted a drink, why you kept drinking.”
Don’t let arguments make you hit the booze
“Treat yourself in another way, whether it’s treating yourself to a fancy dessert or to a walk outside or a bit of time alone. If the relatives are stressing you out, go for a walk. It’s better than being drunk.”
Deal with friends who can’t understand abstinence
“Confidence is your ally. We don’t like to say no, so if someone offers you a drink, I like to say, ‘ Yes, I’d love something, can I have a big glass of water because I need to hydrate before anything else’? A yes instead of a no can be really helpful.
“Also, having a drink in your hand that looks alcoholic is helpful. It’s rare that people will come over and sniff your drink. It might be a mocktail or a glass of elderflower cordial which looks like a glass of wine. People won’t hassle you.
“Or you can be self-deprecating.
If they try to get you to have a drink, say something like, ‘I drank enough over the last three Christmases to do me in’. Make light of it and make light of yourself to let them off the hook.”
Make other people comfortable with your decision
“They may believe you are sitting there on your high horse judging them. To make people comfortable, especially if I was hosting, I would get everyone a drink and then get my own non-alcoholic drink, which sends out the message that you are not here to judge them. People will then relax.”
Ignore accusations that you’re not fun
“In the early days of not drinking,
I would order a vodka tonic and then go to the waitress and ask her to leave out the vodka and just bring me tonic for the rest of the evening. It proved that I could be fun without booze. Then at the end I’d tell them I’d just been drinking tonic all night. It viscerally showed them that nothing was changing.”
Be curious about what you do to fit in
“You may think, ‘I’m just doing this to fit in and is that a good enough reason to feel physically ill the entire next day with a hangover? Is that a good enough reason to give up my festive memories this year?’ Curiosity is your best friend in changing your behaviour.”
This Naked Mind by Annie Grace is published by HQ, priced £9.99 paperback. Available now.