SHE NEVER FEELS LIKE SEX ANY MORE

Dear Coleen

I’M a man in my 30s, married with a two-year-old son. I’m so miserable at the moment that I can’t sleep at night.

My wife has withdrawn from me over the past few years and, while it’s been a gradual decline, it definitely accelerated after our son was born.

We both work and share the household responsibilities and childcare, but we never have any proper time together and the biggest issue is that she’s not interested in sex any more.

She complains she’s tired or stressed or just never feels like it.

I wouldn’t claim that our sex life was particularly passionate, frequent or adventurous in the past, but it was good – and definitely good enough for me.

Now she gets irritated when I try to initiate sex, which leaves me feeling hurt and worthless.

Can you help?

Coleen says

I UNDERSTAND you feeling rejected and it can have a big impact on your confidence. I think what might have happened is that life has taken over and the intimacy you once shared and that bound you together has been chipped away at over the years.

And you’ve stopped communicating honestly with each other. But I think you have to take the pressure off sex and focus instead on rebuilding a connection outside the bedroom.

Firstly, tell her you want the two of you to make a conscious effort to improve your relationship. And you might have to literally schedule time in the diary to have a meal together, cuddle up on the sofa and watch a movie, take a walk or grab lunch or a coffee.

If you can do nice things for each other, help each other out, and start to remember why you fell in love, it can start to breathe new life into the romance. But you both need to be on board.

You’ve hit a wall but the important thing is not to hide from it. Face up to it and deal with it together, whatever the outcome.