I WORRY ABOUT MY MAN’S BISEXUAL PAST

Dear Coleen

I STARTED seeing a great guy at the end of last year. Our relationship hasn’t quite gone to plan, thanks to the pandemic but we’re in love and are talking about moving in together in the new year.

However, I’m worried about something he told me the other night. We got talking about people we’d shared houses with in the past and he admitted he’d shared a flat with some other guys at uni and had a short-lived sexual relationship with one of them.

He insists he’s not gay but probably bisexual, and said it’s the only time he’s been with a man – his other relationships have all been with women and sex between us is great.

I’m worried now, though, about him fancying other guys or sleeping with men because I’m not enough for him. It’s thrown a massive spanner in the works for me because I’ve never dated anyone who’s bisexual.

Do you have any advice?

Coleen says

I THINK your worries are perhaps less about his sexuality and more around the question of fidelity. But if he’s in love with you and you have a good relationship, why would he see anyone else – male or female?

You’re obviously feeling insecure, though, so I think it’s important to tell him how you feel. He has been honest and open with you, which I respect him for, so you need to share your worries with him and talk it through.

I think it’s a good sign that he’s not the type of person to hide things from a partner and he clearly trusts you enough and feels confident enough in your relationship to share this information.

However, I think it really comes down to whether you’re confident enough and your self-esteem is strong enough to take the relationship forward.

If you have doubts, then express them or carry on dating for a bit longer before you commit to moving in with him.