Even Wonka can’t sort pal’s fake tan
WITH the hairdressers and beauty salons closed during lockdown, a word of warning to any female readers trying DIY treatments at home.
A few weeks into the first lockdown, my pal applied her own fake tan and, oh dear, do you remember Willy Wonka’s Oompa Loompas?
She was so orange, she required written permission from Glasgow City Council to walk past a chapel.
Home schooling is also very tricky, with one in five parents admitting they particularly struggle with maths.
However, it might get a wee bit easier next week when the Scottish Government tightens the rules on takeaways…
If you thought that was honking, try this for size – will Kentucky Fried Chicken still be available via cluck and collect?
Staying with food, GMB presenter Piers Morgan says he’s now 16st thanks to eating six meals a day.
Wow! Who’d have thought all that food could help him lose weight?
On the drinking front, Game of Thrones star James Cosmo was reminiscing in the papers last week about getting hammered on Skol lager while filming one of their TV adverts.
Hammered on Skol? He must have guzzled about 40 gallons of the stuff.
Meanwhile, it has been revealed that tea-drinking has gone through the roof during the pandemic with brew-loving Brits getting through 61 billion tea bags in the last year – enough to cover 31,000 football pitches.
And now a documentary film-maker is planning a movie about the history of the humble tea-bag.
I bet it’s a PG.