Turns out COVID was an acronym.. Celtic On Vacation In Dubai
IT’S Glasgow’s annual folk, roots and world music festival and, thanks to the coronavirus, this year’s event is only available online.
Don’t ask me why but I had a hunch they’d just move Celtic Connections to Dubai. Turns out Covid was an acronym: Celtic On Vacation In Dubai.
The Hoops flew to UAE for R&R and came back to T&T (track and trace). As one neutral observer said: “I think they’ve lost the plot.” And that was Donald Trump.
I was also shaking my head – mainly because I can’t grasp the concept of “warm weather training”.
How does that prepare ANYONE for the resumption of Scottish football in January?
Wouldn’t Celtic have been better off hiring a training facility in Siberia?
The result off the park was poor – one player (Christopher Jullien) tested positive for the virus and 13 team-mates, plus management duo Neil Lennon and John Kennedy, forced to self-isolate.
It wasn’t much better ON the park – a drab 1-1 draw at home to Hibs with only one real talking point – winger Mikey Johnston’s comical attempt at winning his side a penalty. (No prizes for guessing who won the diving competition at the hotel pool in Dubai.)
That was NEARLY as funny as Kris Boyd reading out loud on live TV.
Like a lot of folk, the Sky Sports pundit was wondering why Celtic defender Shane Duffy – who flew back from Dubai on a commercial flight, by himself – played against Hibs instead of self-isolating.
Simple. After studying his performances at Parkhead so far, the authorities were confident he wouldn’t get within two metres of any opponents. (Hands up the Celtic fans who wish the big fella could work from home during the pandemic?)
Right now, Rangers fans must think
Hands up who thinks Shane Duffy should work from home?
they’re dreaming. Just eight-and-a-half years after kicking off against Peterhead in the fourth tier, it’s all kicking off in Level 4 and the gap between the Glasgow giants is now an incredible 21 points.
What else can possibly go wrong for Celtic this season? At this rate, I reckon they’ll find a way of losing the 1967 European Cup…
Talking of people skating on thin ice, a plea to Nicola Sturgeon – can we PLEASE leave the house on Sunday before the new series of Dancing On Ice?
Better still, how about relaxing the travel restrictions and I’ll drive to ITV Studios in a gritter? Dancing On Ice would give global warming a good name.
I see this year’s contestants include
Billie Shepherd, Sonny Jay, Joe-Warren Plant and Graham Bell, so at least they’re not copying every other reality show by doing a celebrity version…
Staying with reality TV, former Towie star Mark Wright came on as a late sub in Crawley’s 3-0 FA Cup win against Leeds United. He was meant to start but it took an hourand-a-half to drag him away from the dressing-room mirror.
What a unique double that would have been this week if, as many predicted, Celtic had given a debut on Monday night to former Celebrity Big Brother star Tommy Sheridan…
PS. Here’s another football-related story that took me by surprise.
Dunfermline’s East End d Park has been handed over r to the NHS for the Covid-19 9 vaccine roll-out. Why not ot Firhill – the home of the Jags? gs?
PPS. Some proper telly to watch tonight – part twoo of Iain Robertson Rambles onn the BBC Scotland channel as the actor tackles the second halfalf of the The West Highland Way. ay.
Part one was terrific – thehe first fresh air I’ve had in a fortnight. night.
The famous hike from Milngavie lngavie to Fort William is 96 miles,s, so I’d highly recommend it. Great training for the pubs reopening andnd your first trek to the loo in Wetherspoons. erspoons.