WORRIED AFTER YEAR TRYING TO GET PREGNANT

Dear Coleen

SINCE the first lockdown in March 2020, my husband and I have tried very hard to get pregnant, but had no luck. I’m 31 and he’s 32, so we didn’t think age would be a problem just yet.

I know there are bigger problems at the moment, but we were so excited at the thought of starting a family, and decided it was a good time to try while everyone was in lockdown and we were working from home.

What’s made me feel worse is that a couple of my friends announced they’re pregnant and my sister-in-law is also expecting.

I want to be happy for them – and I am deep down – but I can’t help worrying why it’s not happening for us. Do you think there’s a problem?

Coleen says

THE only way of knowing if there’s a problem is to have some initial tests to check your fertility.

If you’ve been trying without success for over a year, that’s usually the point where your GP will refer you for tests to find out if there are any problems.

Don’t be too hard on yourself – any woman who’s been in your situation can relate to how you feel. It seems so unfair when everyone else around you is happily getting pregnant and popping out babies while it’s not happening for you.

It can trigger lots of complex emotions – you feel isolated, inadequate, sad, angry or jealous. It’s natural and it doesn’t mean you’re not pleased for your friends and your sister-in-law.

You say you’ve been trying “very hard” to get pregnant, so maybe you should try to relax a bit, have some time off from the “schedule” and make sex about fun and intimacy again – and not just making a baby. Good luck.