I AM TEMPTED TO GO BACK TO MY ABUSIVE EX

Dear Coleen

I BROKE up with my boyfriend of five years about 18 months ago. He’s a very volatile character and treated me badly – he was a serial cheat, trashed our flat several times in drunken rages and even let me walk home alone in the middle of the night after a party because we’d had an argument.

My friends and family were so relieved when we broke up and I was, too, initially.

Since then, I’ve reconnected with an old friend who’s wonderful to me – caring and calm – and everyone I know loves him.

My problem is, I think about my ex and know if I picked up the phone and called him, he’d have me back in an instant. What’s wrong with me? How can I get over him?

Coleen says

THE good thing is, you have acknowledged your ex is bad for you and getting back together with him would be stupid, so you have to keep reminding yourself of that every day. And, if you do get tempted to call him, phone a friend or your mum instead.

Also, ask yourself what’s changed – I suspect nothing. He’s the same person and you’d be going back to the same situation, along with the cheating and the drama and the lack of respect.

Someone who loves you doesn’t constantly sleep with other women or leave you to walk home at night alone.

Maybe this other guy you’ve been seeing isn’t the one for you either, but don’t make that a reason to go back to your ex.

You’ve done the hard part by having the courage to walk away from this relationship, so you just need to dig a bit deeper and find the strength to keep walking.

And if you need support – reach out and ask for it.

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