WOULD I BE HIS FRIEND WITH BENEFITS?

Dear Coleen

I’M a woman aged 29 and quite new to the online dating scene. I’ve connected with someone I really like and we’ve had some brilliant, funny conversations.

He’s also handsome and ticks lots of boxes for me – location, interests and so on.

We’ve made a plan to meet up for a coffee when we can.

However, he’s already told me he’s not looking for anything serious at the moment. It almost felt like he was shutting things down before they could get started. Yet, he still wants to meet and we speak all the time.

Is he just looking for a friend with benefits and could he change his mind? He told me he’d ended a 10-year relationship recently, which I guess might be the reason. I’d love your advice.

Coleen says

I KIND of like his honesty – he’s put his cards on the table right from the start. So now what you have to think about is what you want. And if you want it to grow into something long term, then you have to be honest with him about that.

He might just be looking for female company right now, having come out of a serious relationship, and that’s fine.

However, I know if it was me and I was looking for a life partner, then I wouldn’t see any point in dating him. If you get involved, you could end up falling in love with him and it’ll break your heart.

The bottom line is, the ball is in your court. However, why not have the conversation face-to-face over that coffee?

But don’t be talked into becoming that convenient friend with benefits when what you want is a proper relationship.