I’M WARY ABOUT MOVING IN WITH HIS THREE KIDS
Dear Coleen
I’VE been in a relationship with a man for some time but we don’t live together. However, he’s desperate for me to move in with him and brings it up all the time. The thing is, he lives with his three grown-up children (aged, 16, 19 and 21), as his ex-wife lives abroad with her new partner.
I’ve never been married and don’t have children, so this situation feels very intimidating for me. I do get along with his kids, but I’m not sure about living as part of the family full-time. I worry about how it might affect the relationship with my partner, as things are pretty good the way they are.
I’d hate to move in and then move out again because it’s not working. Can you help?
Coleen says
IF YOU’RE not ready for full-time commitment, then take things slowly – don’t give up your home and leave yourself with no options. You could test the water by staying a couple of nights a week or at weekends if you don’t do that already.
I think you’re right about not wanting to risk moving in lock, stock and barrel, only to move out a few weeks later.
That could be damaging for your relationship and it might be tricky to find a way back.
However, if you spend more time at your partner’s place, you’ll get an idea of how they live and what the situation is, and if you think you could fit into it.
Just explain that you’re not saying no to his suggestion but think you need to take it slowly. It’s better to be honest, then everyone knows where they stand.
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