I’M WORRIED MY AGE HAS PUT HER OFF

Dear Coleen

I’VE become close to a lovely woman and want to take things further but I feel as if she’s backed away from me. It’s quite romantic how we met – I own a cafe and she started coming to the hatch to buy a takeaway coffee while out walking her dog.

I plucked up the courage to connect with her on social media and things went from there.

I think we’ve come to rely on our friendship in lockdown.

However, I mentioned I’d turned 50 recently and she visibly recoiled. She’s 34 and I think she was shocked I was that old and I’m worried it’s changed her view of me. What do you think?

Coleen says

YOU’RE making a lot of assumptions, so why not just ask her? Say: “Does the fact I’m 50 freak you out?” and talk about it.

You talk about friendship but don’t say if there’s been any flirting or if she’s given you any signs she’s interested in a romance. If she’s backed off, it might be more to do with the fact she sees you as a friend but has picked up on the fact you want more. Or there might be other reasons why she’s not interested in dating that have nothing to do with the age gap.

Look, I always think honesty is the best policy, so be brave and tell her you’d like to ask her out on a proper date some time, once pubs and restaurants open up, and see how she reacts.

Yes, you risk being rejected, but I still think it’s better to know where you stand instead of living in limbo, hoping that something’s going to happen. And she might actually be ready for romance.