I CHEAT ON WIFE I HAVE NEVER FANCIED

Dear Coleen

MY wife and I have been married for nearly 30 years and I can honestly say that I haven’t found her sexually attractive since well before our wedding day.

She’s a lovely person and I love her dearly but I feel nothing when I see her naked every night. She often asks me why I have no desire for her and I say it’s because I have no libido.

Admittedly, my libido isn’t what it used to be but I have had quite a few affairs over the years, so I do know that everything works OK in that department and that I’m still attracted to women.

It’s just my wife who I have the issue with. We did go for counselling early on in our marriage but nothing really changed. I’m not sure how you can help me but it’s good to be able to tell someone who won’t judge me.

Coleen says

THAT’S what you think. You felt this way before you got married so I have to ask, what were you thinking getting married in the first place?

But you know what, whether you’ve been married 30 years or three years, I don’t think it’s very fair of you to fob your wife off about a low sex drive while you go out and have affairs behind her back.

It sounds like her libido is up and running just fine, and she’s not having affairs. She must think it’s all her fault and that she’s not attractive enough. And you’re putting the blame on her.

It’s not her fault, because you’ve lied to her your whole marriage. I’m not saying you should sit her down and tell her you don’t fancy her and that you’ve been unfaithful, but I do think you need to have an honest conversation with her.

Life is too short and you’re wasting both your lives on this unhappy marriage.

If you don’t, you will get found out and then this poor woman’s self-esteem will be totally battered. Be the better person and stop wasting her time.