The £1million charity mums
Two families whose baby boys died of cancer have united to help other children. Jenny Morrison tells their story of love
WHEN Tanya Ross and Jennifer Gill each lost a baby son to cancer, they never imagined that 10 years on their legacy of love for their boys would be improving the lives of other children with the disease.
Harris Ross was 16 months old when he died in August 2010 after being diagnosed with an aggressive brain tumour. Oliver Gill died of a rhabdoid tumour on Christmas Day in 2010, aged 24 weeks.
Tanya and Jennifer never met on the ward where their boys were treated, but became close friends in the months after they lost them.
As a legacy to their son, Tanya and husband Allan set up the charity Star for Harris. And at about the same time, Jennifer and her husband Andy founded Love Oliver.
Between them, the charities have since raised well over £1million, funding research into childhood cancer and giving practical support to young patients and their families.
As the funds marked their 10th anniversaries, they jointly raised £50,000 to help pay for the playroom, balcony garden and family waiting area of the oncology ward at the new children’s hospital in Edinburgh.
Tanya and Jennifer say funding the project together – at the hospital which succeeded the one where their sons were treated – makes the bond between their families even stronger.
Tanya, 40, of Fort William in Lochaber, said: “Our paths first crossed with Oliver’s parents when our boys were both on the ward at the old Sick Kids in Edinburgh, although we didn’t actually meet then.
“Harris was incredibly ill at that point, and we were in the end room which we didn’t leave at all. We even had our food brought to us as we didn’t want to be apart from him.
“We were aware a new baby had been brought in to the ward, and that little baby was Oliver.
“When the worst happened we moved back to Fort William and about a month later I heard Oliver had been given a terminal diagnosis.
“I didn’t know Jennifer at the time, but I’d had messages from other ward mums about Harris, and hearing from someone who really knew what you were going through meant such a lot.
“I reached out to Jennifer and can’t remember exactly what I said, but it was something along the lines of, ‘I’m here for you’.”
Jennifer, 35, from Leven in Fife, said: “To get that message from Tanya meant so much.
“She was the first person I knew who had been in the same boat.
“Having someone to speak to who really got it was so helpful and still is.
“Ten years on we still message each other about things we know only someone who has been there will understand.
“We wish we knew each other under different circumstances, and that our friendship hadn’t developed through us both losing our boys.” The two families set up the charities in their son’s names to raise awareness of children’s cancers and improve the quality of life for youngsters with the disease and their families. They have helped fund everything from specialist sat nav equipment to assist medics carrying out brain surgery, to digital thermometers for every youngster diagnosed with cancer in Scotland. They have paid for music therapy
for young patients at hospitals across the country, and laptops for pre-teens whose treatments isolate them from their friends.
They have even provided easy-to heat meals and takeaway food vouchers for families who spend their days in hospital with their child or caring for them at home so have little energy to shop or cook.
After years of holding pop-up new to-you toy shops to raise funds. Love Oliver are now in the p opening a permanent store process of loyal
They have gained hundreds of loyal supporters who have run marathons taken part in charity golf days and staged hill cycling events that saw them cover the equivalent distance of climbing Everest.
Tanya said: “When we started Star for Harris it was never about how much money we could raise, but rather about doing what we could to make a difference.”
Jennifer added: “Funding medical research that could help save lives is so important to us, but the simple
Having someone to speak to who really got it was so helpful ... and it still is
things the charities do are just as vital.”
Both families are deeply proud that a new generation of young fundraisers are supporting their charities.
Micah Gill, nine, his brother Rory, six, and Livia Ross, five, never met their older brothers but are helping make sure the boys’ legacies live on.
Tanya said: “Livia, Micah and Rory know all about their big brothers. They have grown up hearing stories about them, talking about them, and now they help fundraise for the charities set up in their brothers’ names.”
Jennifer added: “The younger ones are really passionate about doing things for the charities. They love to put on their charity shirts and do jobs and fundraising things they know will help other children in hospital.”
Oliver and Harris’s siblings were among the first children to visit the new Edinburgh hospital – in the days before it had initially been set to open in July 2019 – to see for themselves how the money raised in their siblings’ names had been put to use.
Failed safety checks on the building’s ventilation, water and drainage systems led to a 20-month delay, but the new hospital finally opened fully last month.
Tanya said: “We haven’t been able to visit since it opened because of coronavirus restrictions, but we look forward to the day when we can hopefully see what a difference this purpose-built hospital will make to the youngsters being cared for there.”
Jennifer said: “We could never have funded the playroom and other areas without doing it alongside Star for Harris, and they wouldn’t have wanted to do it without Love Oliver.
“One of the things our charities have helped fund is an outdoor space where children can be wheeled outside in beds, which might make such an amazing difference
“We know too the importance of the playroom, where kids can go to be distracted at the toughest of times.
“I think we both feel honoured that our charities have been able to play such a valuable role in helping to open this new hospital.”