FED UP WITH SULKY, SELFISH HUSBAND

I HOPE this doesn’t sound like a trivial problem, but I’m sick to the back teeth of my husband’s selfishness.

We’re both in our 50s and have been together since we were 26. He’s turned into a complete curmudgeon well before his time. He’s selfish about everything, from hogging the telly remote to deciding where and when we go on holiday. If I don’t fall in with whatever he says and does, he’ll sulk for days, even weeks.

I do love him, but he’s so high maintenance. Is there any way to make someone less selfish?

Coleen says

INSTEAD of arguing about each situation when it happens, you need to have a bigger conversation when you’re sitting having dinner one night.

Tell him you didn’t expect your lives to end up like this, be honest how you’re feeling – that it’s a one-sided relationship and it’s his way or the highway or he’ll sulk like a child.

Say you’re not happy and don’t want to put up with it for the rest of your life, so felt he needed to know. Yes, he may sulk, but you will have got it off your chest and he will be in no doubt of how you feel.

It’s quite common in your 50s to look at the person you’re with and ask yourself if you want to go the distance with them, especially if they’re not really taking part in the relationship.

Some of it might be that he’s set in his ways and it’s stuff you’ve put up with for years, but now you’re over it.

You can play your part by not pandering to him. A lot of what I went through with my ex-hubby was my fault – I never wanted to be a “nag”, so I never fought my corner. Stand up for yourself and, if he loves you, he should want to compromise.