I DREAD SEEING OTHER SCHOOL MUMS

Dear Coleen

I’M DREADING my daughter, who’s 10, going back to school, as it means having to see the other class mums again.

I hope this doesn’t sound silly but I don’t feel like I fit in or that any of them like me, although we’re polite to each other.

I’m reluctant to make an effort because a few of the mums got together and complained to the school about my daughter a couple of years ago, saying she was disruptive in class (chatting and shouting out), so I kind of withdrew after that.

I do invite girls from class for playdates, but my daughter never gets invited back. It’s her last year before secondary school, so should I just grin and bear it and not even try to be more involved?

I should add, however, that I’m pretty sociable and have never had issues being accepted or making friends in the past.

Coleen says

I’M SO glad I don’t have to do the school gate thing any more. OK, why do you want to fit in with these women? You only have to see them for a few more months, then you’ll be moving on. You can still invite kids back for playdates whether your daughter is invited back or not, so she’s able to have some social interaction with her friends outside of school.

I understand why you’re reluctant to make an effort – it must feel like they ganged up, talking about you behind your back and making judgments, and it doesn’t sound like they, or even the school, handled things in the best way.

Also, maybe you don’t actually want to fit in with this group and, when you accept that and leave it behind, you might feel better about the whole thing.

Maybe a polite “hello” is all you really want or need over the next few months.