UPSET OVER IN-LAWS’ FINANCIAL GIFT

Dear Coleen

I’M FEELING upset about something, although I don’t know what I can do.

I found out through a friend that my in-laws gave their daughter and her fiancé a huge sum of money for a deposit on a house.

Me and my husband have a young child and still live in a small flat but they never offered him any money to get on to the property ladder.

I know it’s their money and they can do what they want with it but I feel hurt, especially for my husband, who doesn’t have a clue about his sister, as far as I know. If they can help their daughter, why wouldn’t they help their son?

Coleen says

I DON’T know why they wouldn’t help him – maybe it’s as simple as they didn’t have the money when you and your hubby were looking to move in together.

Speaking as a parent of three, I couldn’t afford to buy all of my kids a house or give them a big deposit and, unless I could do it for all of them, I wouldn’t do it at all.

Perhaps your in-laws also think you’re settled and doing OK but felt their daughter needed the extra help. I know it seems unfair but sometimes as parents we’re faced with really tricky decisions.

I understand you feeling hurt but it might be best to leave it to your husband to ask his sister or speak to his parents.

Or you could have a quiet word with his mum and mention that you think your husband will be hurt when he finds out.

The bottom line is, though, it’s your in-laws’ money and ultimately, they can do what they want with it.